Well...too bad! Cause I'm gonna share anyway! I recently updated my Summer Bucket List to reflect all the super great stuffs we did this summer--even though it felt WICKED short! We are already back to school and back in the swing of things. SO WEIRD!
So I am hard at work on a new and improved (and carried over and recycled) Early Fall Bucket List (and actually I'm sick of calling them 'Bucket Lists'...so I'm working on a new name as well!)...full of all the crazy shit we want to get accomplished before the hustle bustle of holidays and cold weather and hibernation! It's totally doable....you know - between Band, football games, work, school, Cross Country meets, homework, writing, puppies, chores, cooking, real life, and world domination! Eeeks...when did we get so BUSY? Anyways...be on the lookout for that post super soon.
It's State Fair Week here in my corner of the globe...so that means deep fried deliciousness, baby farm animals, people watching, and photo bombs of epic proportions. And for those of you who follow Little League Baseball...you should know that the 2013 Indiana State winning team was from none other than my hometown! We fought a hard battle for Nationals....but considering that my hometown has a population of approximately 2000 people, I'd say that's pretty darn impressive for a group of 13 year old boys. ('Don't Stop Believin' now makes me cry like a little girl.)
What else has been happening, you ask? (And what is up with that totally cryptic...but spot on hilarious blog title!?) WELL.....as some of you may now be aware, I had a pretty big "falling out" with the bestie earlier this summer. Small hiccup...maybe? Sometimes you just have to let people go when they need to go, learn what they need to learn, say what they need to say, and keep your own karma in check. I can't tell you it was easy though. I spent a lot of days in bed. I cried a lot. I questioned things that I had said, decisions I had made, and dissected every inch of myself and my life. Our "break-up" broke me. It rattled me to my very core. (And for those of you keeping score...relish those points. But read on.)
Then, one day...I woke up...I stopped crying..I got out of bed..and I started living. I cleaned my neglected house. I loved my neglected family. And I repaired my neglected soul. (A big thanks to my peeps for being so patient and understanding during this "phase"!)
And I found happiness. And, strangely enough, our lives have never been better. I started blocking people. I stopped following the drama. I learned not to care. I stopped allowing joy to be taken from me. I walked away from toxicity and anger. And I stayed away.
And really amazing things began to happen for us. Our Karma changed. Not only that...but my house has never been cleaner. I started writing again. I lost some weight. We have an amazing routine that works for our family. We are having fun. We laugh more. We love more. We have learned to enjoy our moments...and each other.
I don't rightly know what the correlation is...but it's worth noting.
I don't know what will happen from here on out. I can't predict what lies in my future. I know that my heart is a big ol' glutton....but my brain will probably require some ground rules moving foward.
During all that struggling and suffering....I (re) discovered a few universal truths. (Oh come on...you knew that was coming!)
Hang on to your britches folks....cause Imma 'bout to lay some real world learning down on ya. I learn the lessons so you don't have to. You're fucking welcome.
Cray bitches be trippin'. And not in a good way. And they won't, can't, and will never change. No matter what sweet pearl clutchin' sob story they tell you. Or how many times they tell it. All the big pretty houses, fancy top of the line stuffs, and beach vacations don't make up for a shitty personality or years of repeated hurtful behaviors. Fixins is fixins. Pathological is pathological. Wrap it up nice...but the inside is still a hot mess of crazy.
Call me what you will...but I'd much rather be authentic, loved, honest, respected, admired, liked, appreciated, trusted, and true...in 900 square feet (and poor as shit), than anything otherwise in all the mansions of the world.
And a word on that...if you have to persuade, manipulate, con, convince and/or prove to others that you are happy...are you really? True happiness shines out of a person - because their heart is too big to hold it all. Happy just happens. If you have to force it..well...then you're probably doing it wrong. And making everyone around you miserable in the process.
I know who I am. I know what I want. I know where I'm going. And, finally, I think I know how to get there...and who I want along for the ride. I am thankful for the people in my life. Past and present. I know I'm not perfect. But, I also know that my worst moments are still just a tiny drop in a larger bucket - and that I have friends and loved ones ready to remind me of that. The world revolves around none of us. My problems are small. We are healthy. We are together. We have love. We have all that we need. We have enough.
I don't need to chase love, affection, attention, friendship, or respect. Because I have lived a life WORTHY of those things. I have given...and so I receive. Can you...TRULY...say the same? Because - as I have witnessed, learned, and experienced - every relationship, every encounter, every moment is an opportunity to express love. To be better. To strive for more. To change. Others...and yourself. Go full circle.
Jesus Karma Buddha. (or whatever you believe in.)
TEACH
LEARN
DESTROY
CREATE
EXPLORE
RETURN
REAP
SOW
TAKE
GIVE
I might still be a work in progress...I might still be adjusting the learning curve...but at the end of the day...I can honestly say that I have people in my corner. YOU don't have to be one of them. I'm not for everyone. All I know is that in this life, I am trying to make a difference and treat people the best way that I know how. I might make mistakes. I might fumble the ball on occasion. Because I'm human.
And that's OK.
So take a good look...
On my side, by my side, or in my fucking way. Your choice. But know this...it's a new day. Take the opportunity to make better choices, work some shit out, check yourself, say a little something something and breathe.
And then move the fuck on.
That's all anyone can ask for.
See ya on the flip flop side!
XOX!!
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