Monday, November 26, 2012

Easie Peasie Lemon Squeezie..Black Friday 2012!

As most of you know, last year I braved the Black Friday Shopping Extravaganza with my bestest chum Louper. An adventure of EPIC and COSMIC proportions occurred. I had doubts that such a feat could ever be topped.....and stand firm in my belief that it was truly a once in a lifetime event. (For those that might require reminding...please pour a cup of coffee, relax, and read aloud here.)
I had HIGH HOPES for a repeat performance this year. Karma however did not. The odds were NOT ever in my favor for Louper Banana Crazy Ninja Night. Work issues made it impossible to leave on the date I needed to, my wedding anniversary fell on Thanksgiving this year (making it a little more challenging to ask to be away from the sweet Hubs...for shopping), money was wicked tight since now we are making an extra car payment each month we didn't really bargain for, and the freaking trains just don't understand my NEED to NOT want to be on a Greyhound bus for another 5 hours after riding on your train all night. SSSOOOOO.......looked like my trip to Virginia, to Louper, to Jennays house for Thanksgiving, to the money spending madness, to fame and glory and laughter and tears and bad coffee and bladder accidents---CANCELLED.

{Insert sad Banana} 

So, I consoled myself with too much Thanksgiving food, climbed miserably into my warmest comfiest most socially unacceptable pyjammies I could find....and crawled into bed. I turned on the TV, I relaxed with the Hubs and the Small, we laughed, we watched movies, and in general...we had an amazing time. I totally missed the bestest chum....and wondered what she was doing (smashing into people with carts?), where she was (Starbucks?), how many people she had killed (< 2 was my best guess), and if she was miserable (the answer better be yes.).
AND THEN....Louper calls me!!! "Heller. Banana! I have picked up the vast majority of items on your gift lists this year and a few more that I thought you SHOULD add. Because I am awesome and amazing. Go ahead and tell me so. I'm waiting. OK, you're in can tell me later. So glad we had this chat. Continue on. Love you."
OK...the conversation didn't go EXACTLY like that. Point is...MY BEST FRIEND ROCKS!!! And no one else can have her...because clearly I am unable to function or survive without her.
Long story Holiday shopping is nearing completion...thanks to one super amazingly awesome bestie, some comfy jammies, the internet, the alignment of the stars, UPS, and my debit card.
And I never had to leave the house!
Easie Peasie Lemon Squeezie.

Startin' the Holidays off Happy!!!!


Sunday, November 4, 2012


Isn't it funny, the twists and turns we find on the road of life? Love and loss..happiness and sadness..plenty and want. Seems as if waiting around the bend is another obstacle, another hill, another chasm, another need....something to distract us from where we are going....or worse yet...who we are.
We could spend our whole lives moving from challenge to challenge...placing blame and deflecting change...OR we could rise above it and realize that the challenges in front of us are opportunities to become something greater. We can change where we are, who we are, what we want, where we are going. We can develop, we can grow, we can strive, we can learn. We can move beyond the ugly and the regret and the want and the what if. We can BE...and HAVE...and DO. We can take all the things that bog us down, chuck it aside, and soar. AND NO ONE HAS TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
Because your path is different than mine....and we are walking in different woods. So, stop focusing on WHERE the path is heading....or, God forbid, where it's been....and just stop following it. Start making your own. Or, if it's really brambly and overgrown (like mine has been)...start taking to the skies. Because a cloudy sky is still a better path than a dirt road.

Hoping your skies are blue and clear...and that you always have room to soar.

Later Taters!


Saturday, November 3, 2012

Friendship As It Applies To You...

As some of you may, or may not, know...I've been doing a lot of soul searching and reinventing lately. Sometimes I am successful at changing my heart while other times I find myself stuck in my own rut of self inflicting harm. What I have found most interesting about this journey is the people I have found along the way. And the things I have learned about them.
I find it so fascinating that the more you learn about yourself, the more you learn about the kind of people you want in your inner circle. I know that sounds simplistic....of course you want to surround yourself with people as awesome and amazing as you are. People who have similar morals, similar beliefs, similar goals, similar lifestyles. You never imagine that you will INVITE chaos, toxicity, drama, and heartache in. And yet, one day, you wake up...and there it is....staring you in the face and dragging you down into the pit to stand beside it.
It's so funny to meet someone. You spend years confiding in them, loving them, trusting them, believing in them. Then you lose them. It happens all the time. Then twenty years later, you wake up next to them. You kiss them goodbye tell them fall in love all over. You are given a second chance. People come and go. Sometimes its a GREAT thing.....
And sometimes its really, really, REALLY bad. You see....I've learned some things about friendship lately. I have come to learn that I am not always the best friend that I could be. I don't call like I should. I'm not always there. Sometimes I would rather sleep than chat on the phone. Sometimes my job, or my daughter, or my husband, or my bills, or my own life come before you. Sometimes I am selfish and self absorbed. But for all my faults....I am always honest. I am always supportive. I am always loving. I will always remember your birthday. I will buy you random amazing gifts just because I thought of you....and I will think of you OFTEN. I care about you...and your family...and your happiness...and your successes and failures. But sometimes I am a bad friend.
But I am THERE.
What I have learned recently, is that sometimes that isn't enough. Friendship is, like any other relationship, a two way street. It's hard. It takes work. It involves two people who WANT to be there, and be present, and be amazing. It can't be one person giving and giving and giving.....and constantly being rejected. Because eventually the one giving decides that real life...and other relationships..are more fulfilling. And sometimes, it takes a slap in the face to wake you up.
I tried. Really I did. I WANTED to be your friend. I loved my flawed, and broken, and difficult way. I let you in...when I didn't want to, against my better judgement, kicking and screaming at times. When I didn't HAVE to....when it would have been easier to hate you...when it would have been easier to walk away...when it would have been softer on my heart....I DID. When he begged me to let it go, to let you go..I persisted. Because I wanted to see the good in you...I wanted to believe that you had changed...I wanted to prove them wrong.
But then you hurt me. And him. And her. And them.
Over and over and over. Because that is who you really are. You use people...and when they are used up, you move on. Unannounced and unexplained. And you will blame me...I wasn't there for you, or good enough, or nice enough. And you will say that I hurt you. Because you are ever the victim. You needed more than I could give you....not that I ever really knew what that was.
But make no mistake....this is NOT an apology. I find it liberating that you are gone. Funny how sometimes you don't see what's right in front of took you walking away for me to realize the toxicity of you. I am free to focus on my family, my job, my life, my friends, my health...all the things that are important to me (and have been neglected recently in favor of you). I have realized that I can love without you, I can move without you, I can laugh without you, I can live without you.
And honestly...I don't really miss you.
You see, friendship is about communication. It's about mutual respect. It's about spending your time caring as much about the other person as you do about yourself. It's about not being a bitch. I wish you luck with your new "friends"...but until you learn these simple will never know what it means to have an untarnished and honest friendship. And, eventually, you will find yourself alone.
And on that note....I am uber and ever thankful for the loves of my life, my very best friends, and the people who make me tick..My Dear Husband, My Bestie Louper, My Favorite Author Preener, and My Crazy Small. I am loving that I am given the opportunity to reunite with friends from my past (due to our recent move back to our hometown) and our bi-weekly Dinner Dates/Girls Night Outs. I am appreciative of an amazing job that has allowed me to meet and associate with intelligent and wonderful people. And I am always more than blessed by my small but fierce family.
Not to mention all the crazy love I have for all of wicked loyal and always awesome readers!
So, saying goodbye to toxic non-friends and welcoming peace in my life. Moral of this blog?....Bitches Still Be Bitches....And Don't Make Very Good Friends. So...move along. Not so nice knowing ya.

Later Taters!