Hear Ye...

Today I want to talk about LISTENING. Having spent the last few days home alone (not including the zoo), and therefore not saying very much, I've had some time to think about what I DO say..and WHEN.

We all know loud people. People who speak loudly. People who think loudly. People who live loudly. These are the people who command attention, who require notice from others, who always have something to say...an opinion, an idea, or (most annoyingly) the last word. These are people who speak more and hear less. These are people who either control a room...or other people. We might appreciate or envy them for awhile...their no nonsense attitude, their outspokenness, their obvious extroverted personalities. We might even have BEEN them for awhile. But soon, these same qualities make us spend less and less time with them, make us avoid interactions, make us confrontational or bitter.

Do you know WHY? Because these people have forgotten how to LISTEN.

A healthy part of any relationship is communication. Knowing what to say and when to stay silent. Hearing what others say to us is vital in understanding who they are and what they need. How can we expect to help others, to learn about them, to be a support system...if we fail to hear what they are asking for?

Now understand, HEARING and LISTENING are two different things all together. Hearing, in short, is easy. It's biological. But listening? Listening is a skill, a trait, a conscious decision. It involves paying attention. It requires focus. It demands that we actively participate in life, in conversation, in other people. Hearing is background. Listening is front and center.

Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Often when people talk to each other, they don't listen attentively. They are often distracted, half listening, half thinking about something else. When people are engaged in a conflict, they are often busy formulating a response to what is being said. They assume that they have heard what their opponent is saying many times before, so rather than paying attention, they focus on how they can respond to win the argument.

My challenge..to myself, and to you if you so desire to join me...is to learn to listen. Actively. To mentally be present and engaged. To stop allowing my focus to wander. To be insightful and attentive. To let go of my desire to win every argument, have the last word, offer my opinion or advice, or be heard. My challenge is to listen..with an open mind and an open heart.

In the hopes that I will truly hear.

"The richness of life doesn't lie in the loudness and the beat, but in the timbres and the variations that you can discern if you simply pay attention." (Seth S. Horowitz)

To everything there is a season...a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak. (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

Blessings to you all as we learn to listen. To others, to ourselves, and to the universe.


XOX