True North..

I used to believe that happiness could only be found after arriving at my heart's destination. Explorers call it true north. For me, true north was a loving marriage...a spiritual family...a kind and generous child...a successful career...plenty of money to pursue my passions and control my creative destiny. Now that I have spent far longer on the road from Here to There than I could have ever imagined, I have relaxed a little in my expectations (looks like the marriage has been replaced with relationship, career has fallen away to be replaced by health) and have come to an awakening. My true north is..and always has been..my creativity and passion. I've always controlled my destiny...just not always its course. I simply didn't have the common sense to realize it until now.
But more to the point..I learned that the spirit of the journey (and the lessons I learn along the way) is as important..perhaps even more important...than the arrival at the destination. There is always a new destination. In order for me to realize genuine happiness, I must be willing to accept that the journey is really all that I may ever know. Day in and day out..the journey is real life.
One day in 1923, the artist Georgia O'Keeffe came to the same conclusion. "I found myself saying to myself..I can't live where I want to...I can't go where I want to...I can't do what I want to. I can't even say what I want to. I decided that I was a very stupid fool not to at least paint as I wanted to...that seemed to be the only thing I could do that didn't concern anybody but myself."
Now..I can't paint like Georgia. But I can certainly slowly learn to follow her example..finding and following my creative urges. This skill rarely comes naturally or easily...but with practice, with patience, and with perseverance...it does come. Creativity comes during my idle hours..I must learn to store it up in order to draw on it when the source isn't there but my need is great.
"The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life." Jessica Hische. I must remember that the creativity I find while I am avoiding real life..is the same creativity that should become my real life. For I now realize that Photography is quite possibly my one true north. The rest is just supplemental happiness.

XOX