Complaints we know. Complaints we are good at. Really good at. Really really good at. I alone have already mastered the art of the complaint at all its levels...gripe, groan, moan, whine and bitch. I'm really good at bitch. You do it too. Don't lie. Probably the only person on the face of the earth who doesn't carry on the way we do is Mother Teresa. And she's dead.
One of the reasons that I love my besties so much is that they allow me to complain, ad nauseum, and know that I will return the favor. That's why you love your besties too. But if we really love them, don't you agree it's time to start sparing them all the gory details? Some of us spend half our lives bitching. (I've exceeded that random mathematical equation). It's time to get a grip. When we bitch and moan we're not much fun to listen to..just because you can't see the eyes on the other end of the phone doesn't mean they aren't rolling..or shut. That isn't to say that your late night joint bitching about the same stupid ass person isn't productive...it just doesn't need to consume EVERY conversation. (I'm not judging...I am SO guilty.) Don't we have other shit to talk about? I'm just proposing that we try new outlets to channel our hostility..bitch on the blog, scream in the shower, listen to angry music in the car while you are stuck in traffic. Sure it won't be as much fun..but God is big enough to take it. Not like it's new.
I'm not suggesting that we suppress or minimize our negative feelings. Not entirely. But the petty shit that we are foaming at the mouth about isn't worth the breath it steals. Our thoughts..and our words..are powerful. So powerful that they can change our reality..and the quality of our days. And nights. Bitching rarely makes anybody feel better. In fact, for me, I mostly feel worse. Learning to shrug off the stupid shit is the beginning of wisdom. And it's not like the person you are bitching about even knows..or cares for that matter.
On the flip side...we should learn to be creative about our bitching. Barbara Sher believes "in the effectiveness of complaining the way some people believe in the effectiveness of prayer." (Don't get all in a bunch. Prayer is amazing and wonderful. I personally believe in its effectiveness. Just illustrating a point here people.) She encourages "hard time sessions". She suggests that the next time you feel the need to explode...announce that you are taking a 'hard time session'. Tell anyone in earshot that you are pissed, anxious, fed up, stabby, and not going to take it anymore. Tell them that for the next five minutes you are going to lose it. Tell them not to pay any attention and not to take it personally. Tell them to run away if you want. Then go fucking crazy. (I totally paraphrased that last part..just thought you should know.) You will probably end up feeling much better without having to make insincere apologies or wipe away tears and snot. You will probably end up just laughing about it.
So today..my challenge...if we must complain, let's at least be creative about it.
XOX
No comments:
Post a Comment