Whether you are single, married, with children or without..it's not possible to get through the day without agreeing to at least one compromise. There are little compromises, like weekend plans and who's cooking dinner. And then there are bigger ones, like visitation schedules and coexisting with teenagers. Tolerable compromises are those we enter into fully...with complete knowledge in advance of exactly what we are surrendering. The other kind of compromises...the ones most of us make every single day...are the strong silent type. They're strong because we are stuck with them and silent because they are unspoken.
Compromises are the art of the bottom line. We can bend only so far and then we break. Knowing just how far you can bend is the first step in making sane agreements. This isn't as easy as it sounds.
The more complicated life becomes, the simpler your compromises must be. Ask yourself this...What must you have from the situation? What do you absolutely need? If you need it..you must have it. Non negotiable. If you don't need it to survive, it..whatever it is..wouldn't be a need. Then it would be a want. Unfortunately, wants are the root of compromise. I want. You want too. Don't lie. That's why we bargain. Keep in mind that your want might be someone elses need. The best compromises, like a tolerable lifestyle, cover all your needs while satisfying a few of your wants.
If you dread it, don't agree to it. If you go ahead with it despite your gut feeling..you'll despise everything about it. Including the person who agreed to it...you.
Be gracious. Be flexible. Be empathetic. Be as generous as you can without gagging. Trust your instincts. Protect your interests. Pay attention to what your heart tells you....it isn't just for pumping blood.
Above all, follow the advice of Janis Joplin..."Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."
XOX
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