Digging For Truth...

I swear, sometimes my life is so hilarious. The bestie and I were just having a conversation last week about how randomly funny we are...and that SERIOUSLY someone should follow us around with a TV camera. But we would have to be on REALLY late at night...or on one of those channels that didn't mind bleeping out every other word. Because we are mildly inappropriate.
Case in point...today we were discussing the deeply important topic of nose picking. Oh My God...DO NOT sit there all grossified and righteous...you KNOW you do it too. We all do. It's OK...your secret is safe with me. I promise I won't ask you to tell me about it.....AHEM.....OK I MIGHT...but I don't want LOTS of details. Only ONE......
Which brings us to tonight's blog. There has been a...serious...debate happening and I have taken it upon myself to delegate others to do some rather extensive market research (via text messaging.). The question polled: What finger do you use to pick your nose?
That's right....always informative shit happening right here.
So without further adieu....I present to you...the most popular answers as follows. OH....and after being threatened with legal action- some names and identifying information has been changed...you know, to protect the embarrassed. Or something like that.
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Poller: Doing some research. When picking your nose, which finger is the preferred finger?
Pollee 1: BAHAHAHA, Imma go with Pointer.
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Poller: I am doing some research. When picking your nose, which finger do you use?
Pollee 2: Middle.
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Poller: When you pick your nose, which finger do you like to use?
Pollee 3: HAHAHA. All of them. *Whispered* I don't use my thumb.
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Poller: When picking your nose, which finger is your go to nose picker?
Pollee 4: OMG, Why?
Poller: Doing some research for a blog post.
Pollee 4: Well, I try to get a tissue or a napkin, but I'll scratch it with my left-not intensely, just till I rub the end of my nose off.
Poller: WHICH FINGER? Pinkie, Pointer, Middle, Thumb, or Ring?
Pollee 4: Lefty Pointer. I'm left handed, maybe that's why.
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Poller: What finger do you use to pick your nose?
Pollee 5: Your moms. Oh, wait, Yours. No...both thumbs.
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Poller: When picking your nose, which finger do you use?
Pollee 6: I use my goldfinger.
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Me (to Poller): What finger do you, yourself, use?
Poller: I use my pinkie. Pinkie is a good scooper.
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Poller: Which finger do you use to pick your nose?
Pollee 7: This one. (Finger went up nose.) For the record...it was a pointer.
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Poller: When you pick your nose, which finger do you use?
Pollee 8: I don't pick my nose. I snort water up my nose and then blow it all out. Why are we talking about this?
Poller: Research.
***It was later revealed that this individual is indeed a pinkie picker...but only when seeking to dislodge the boogies that grow into your eyesockets and wrap around your brain stem.***
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Poller: What finger do you pick your nose with?
Pollee 9: Hysterical laughter....Wait. What? Why? I don't.
Poller: You LIE.
Pollee 9: I refuse to answer this question. It's ridiculous.
Poller: I NEED to know....are you a pinkie picker or a pointer picker?
Pollee 9: Laughter...What?
Poller: WELL?
Pollee 9: Pointer I guess. Sheesh.
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Poller: Are you busy?
Pollee 10: No.
Poller: What finger do you use to pick your nose?
Pollee 10: Giggles. My right Pointer.
Poller: REALLY? You're not a pinkie picker?
Pollee 10: WELL...I guess sometimes. Yeah, I do use my pinkie sometimes. That makes me a twober.
Poller: OK...thanks!
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Poller: When you pick your nose, which finger do you use?
Pollee 11: Your moms finger.
Poller: Gross.
Pollee 11: You're gross.
Poller: It's for research. I could use your input.
Pollee 11: WTF?
Poller: Research for a blog post.
Pollee 11: OK that's disgusting (*this next portion has been modified from it's original text due to legal precedent...and the fact that I am scared as shit test subject could kick my ass.*) and if you use my name or the fact that I know you I will SUE you. I guess I mostly use the pinkie. It's the least intrusive digit.
Poller: Thanks (name with-held)!!
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President Obama is a Pointer.

The Queen Mum is too.

And based on my *completely unbiased and non technical results*....Pointers are the majority. But stand tall Pinkies....you fought a hard battle.

Fun times in my world today...fun times.
Here to offer up not just enlightenment, logic, peace, love, and understanding.....but, occasionally, to throw in a little chaos and madness and insanity and laughter...and maybe, just maybe, some messy indulgence.
Thanks everyone for playing along and being good sports. I've got the lawyer on speed dial. Just in case.


XOX