Forgiveness...

Today's topic is forgiveness (another concept I find struggle with)...forgiveness as it means to us, versus how it means to Jesus. Because there IS a difference.

Learning how to forgive does not come naturally to us. In fact, forgiveness runs polar opposite to our human nature..and our desire for revenge. When we are hurt by someone, we want to hold a grudge. We want justice. We want others to know and understand our hurts. We want leverage for future interactions and disagreements. The problem? We are ALL wounded. We are ALL guilty. On our best days, our self esteem hovers somewhere between feeble and fragile. We seek approval from others. When they reject us, it hurts. When we encounter disapproval..even perceived disapproval..it sends us into a tailspin of hurt. Even if, and when, others' disapproval or criticism is valid and warranted, it's still hard to digest and take. It reminds us that we have failed in some way. We didn't measure up to expectations...others' or our own.

But what we must remember is that we ALL have at least one thing in common...we've all failed someone. And each of us also knows the pain of someones failure towards us. Knowing that..it seems we could cut each other a little slack. We're all human after all.

The main problem is that, if we refuse to forgive others...not only do we foster bitterness in our own hearts, we fail to live up to the promises of Jesus.

You see, we view forgiveness as a supernatural act that only Jesus is capable of- because he loves us so unconditionally. What we forget is that people are incapable of unconditional love. (Despite the Katy Perry song to the contrary.) Sure we love our spouse, our kids, our parents and family. We love our friends. We love perfect strangers. But, it isn't unconditional. We place demands on them, set rules and obligations. We love them if they treat us right, if they do what we want them to, if they live up to their end of the deal. Conditional.

And when we are unforgiving of hurts and slights..when we hold grudges..when we seek revenge, or justice, or karma...we forget to trust God with that task.

But Jesus understands the brokenness of the human spirit. He knows that humans-all humans-are weak. For us, it usually doesn't help to know that those who hurt us are weak, that they are broken like us. That is why it is so important to turn those hurts over to Him. And to forgive- just as He forgave us. Just as we trust Him for our salvation, we must trust Him to make things right on our behalf. Especially when we forgive. He will heal our wounds...so that we may move on with a clean heart and spirit.

Unfortunately, there are no easy steps to forgiveness. It is a process...a climb...a game of trial and error. But we can be confident that what He asks us to do, He also provides the strength to do.

So...think about this: His forgiveness is abundantly generous. He forgave us willingly, leaving us free of guilt. (Which is the product of an unforgiving heart...the burden of guilt.) It is not something we deserve or earn. Thank goodness. But because of this, He asks us to share this grace. By learning per His example.

Next we must realize that forgiveness, while exponentially worthwhile, is risky. The person we forgive might fail us again. And again. And possibly again. Perhaps the same way, perhaps many different ways. That is not on us. That is not our fault. Jesus sets no limits on forgiveness...forgiveness counts quality not quantity. It's not how many times we forgive someone...it's how well. It cannot be measured and cannot be counted. And we shouldn't even try.

Lastly, forgiveness is not some cosmic "Oh Well, better luck next time" from Jesus just because we say the right words. Forgiveness must be sincere and welcome. So I urge you to pray for the people who hurt you and begin to ask God to bless them in very specific ways. If you can't do that just yet (and that's OK..), at least ask Him to help you get there eventually. A little bit, a little at a time, is better than not at all.

"love your enemies, and do good to those that hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." JESUS {Luke 6:28}

Do it because YOU are forgiven. Do it because it's the right thing to do. Do it because you are freeing yourself. And do it in order to accept it from others.

We are all in this together.

Peas.
XOX