Talk about challenging. I am my own worst enemy and my harshest critic. I struggle with my weight, my insecurities, my health, my neediness, my desire to be perfect. I suppose, as women, we all share the same self loathing and self defeating talk. Inevitably, I hope we all survive and overcome.
But to find, and document, what I am grateful for about myself (despite it being easier to find and document the negatives) is what today asks for. So....I did some thinking.
Firstly, I have a great daughter. And, I have learned how to be a great mom. I learned much from my own mother...and feel that I have raised a girl that is caring, smart, empathetic, joyful, loving, and full of life. All the things that I strive to be myself. I can only hope that she learned how to be all these things by watching me. She is, by far, the greatest thing I have ever done, my most challenging adventure, and my most beautiful blessing.
Secondly, I have a great relationship with my husband. I have had to learn how to be a wife...and at times it was difficult. I have learned how to love and accept love in return. I have turned down the negative voice in the back of my mind...in order to listen to the positive voice of my spouse. I have accepted my role in our family, adjusted to our lifestyle, and welcomed comfort. I have allowed for my limitations...and worked to overcome my own doubts. I have created a welcoming and peaceful home, allowed calm to settle here, and encouraged my husband to grow. I am proud of the man he has become and I am thankful and grateful for our marriage.
Lastly, I am grateful for my faith. I have developed a routine to celebrate my relationship with Christ, and am learning how to express that faith creatively. I have tested my own borders, surpassed my own expectations, and continued to teach myself how to trust the process. I have certainly made mistakes, I am far from perfect or complete, but I am enjoying the journey and trusting in the outcome. I have pushed the envelope of my own creativity and have challenged myself to be greater.
I don't know if that was a successful response to the prompt (there I go with the doubts again)...but, I am grateful for these things. I want to add one more...only because it bears mentioning...I am beyond grateful for the relationships I have with my family and friends. My circle is small, without a doubt, but it is powerful. I know that I am cared for, taken care of, and covered in love.
And that is a testament to how I am choosing to live. Accepting love. Giving love. Praising and uplifting each other. But, mostly, trying to live a worthy life...one that does not require explanation or forgiveness.
See you tomorrow.
Love, Blessings, & Peace.