Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Homicidal Rage Anyone?...

Let me clear this up right away...I am NOT in the Christmas spirit. I want to be..really I do..but it isn't happening. And you can't make me. I thought I was trying...I went shopping today..it didn't go well. I wanted to buy a gun, camp out in the Christmas section with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and kill anyone that spoke to me. Instead, I came home and put on my pyjamas and wrapped some presents and plotted and schemed and planned my defense. Maybe it's the mood I've been in for the last few days, maybe it's the shitty weather outside, maybe it's the continuing pain in my stomach or the constant disappointments in my life...but I have decided that smothering him with a pillow while he sleeps is rational. (I'm joking about that last part...sort of...a little...no really...completely kidding.)
So there is Christmas. I am buying, I am shopping, I am wrapping. For her, for him, for them....it's fun. I guess. I have lists, I have ideas, I have suggestions. I am a little excited for the homemade gifts I am planning. While I don't see the cost effectiveness of this mindset..I am hoping it will provide some quality time with Small in the kitchen. And WHO couldn't use more quality time? I mean, really? And I am such a joy lately...
Hell, even the dog has noticed. Well....had he not decided to piss on my tree, I could have avoided the beating and given him lots of puppy smooches. As it is...I fear for the gifts that I so delicately and lovingly wrapped. Or for Pissy McWhinesAlot. Yes...I went there.
Oh...and let's discuss finances. Good news A....she's keeping the car. So no car payment for us. Bad news A....she's not making the payments. Correction...she DID make a payment today...but she is still behind...and we all know how confident I am in her skills as a fully functioning adult. Good news B....Eos is popular. I mean busy busy busy popular. Bad news B....Eos doesn't pay shit. I love taking pictures...I would love it more if I was rolling in funds for it. Someone please tell me that eventually this will be a lucrative venture....please. Because the thought of finding a "real job" is NOT appealing to me...ever. So right now the bills are paid (barely), the masses are clothed and fed (thank goodness) and there is a little (and by that I mean small, tiny, minuscule...) left over. I keep hoping that the bank Gods will show me some mercy and "accidentally" misread my account number, thereby depositing a hefty sum of cash. Evidently MY bank is very advanced, thus preventing such errors. Figures.
There are, play along here people, some positives happening in the near future. Positive being a relative term.....positive for me...maybe not so much for others. Remember fire and brimstone? Hell hath no fury? Happy wife, happy life? HA!!! I forsee so much blogging......so, so much. This ride is gonna be a B.U.M.P.Y one.....could even improve my disposition...it can't possibly get any worse...right?
Yeah...I'm dreaming.
You know the sign off......

1 comment:

  1. What have i said? hmmm? I do believe i have asked you on more than one occasion... Will you please smile? I said please even... And you know how seldom i say please... :)

    See that wasn't so hard now was it really? ok thank you talk to you later bye!


    stupid thing added the comment before i was done so here is the rest of it :)


    So i could see you at the store flanked by GI Joe dolls armed with That pink gun you saw at Bass Pro the other day... Taking out Reindeer Elves and fairies of all sorts... cant say that i wouldnt smile at that in fact id probably cheer you on... :)

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