Monday, May 9, 2011

Another Day In Paradise...

Emily Dickinson says that "Eden is that old fashioned house we dwell in every day." Sure it is. I think about this as I wander around my living room picking up multi colored rubber bands from some long neglected craft project, colored pencils, notebooks, movie and game cases, discarded dishes that never quite make it into the kitchen (let alone the dishwasher), empty cigarette packs (a HUGE pet peeve of mine), three days' worth of junk mail, at least two pairs of shoes, an empty Doritos bag crumpled up next to the couch, and a hairbrush (mine, but probably used by the owner of the rubber bands and shoes.) This is Eden? Paradise? Really? Damn....maybe I can just relocate?
Poets have written over and over about the joys of domesticity...no doubt because they lived with loving, patient, and nurturing people who created havens of quiet order in which they could work in peace and comfort. But did you know that Emily Dickinson-who rarely left her home after she was thirty four-was also very domesticated? In fact, she has said that her greatest ecstasies were cooking and writing poetry. How alike we are. I seldom leave the safety of my own walls, I love cooking and baking (when the kitchen is clean enough to work in), and while there was a time when I could write a mean sonnet...that has been replaced with journaling and blogging. I long to draw back into the stillness, the quiet, the calm.
However...I must clean. I must pick up the debris of our daily lives and bring order to this house...because I can't stand the chaos, clutter, and confusion that dwells here for another single moment. There is just no more time for poetic writings and creative outings.
The problem is this....right now is the very moment ~when I am nearly crushed physically, emotionally, and psychologically under the weight of life~when I need ordinary, uncomplicated, poetic living. Then maybe I can look around and see not just other peoples shit, but all the beauty, joy, and abundance that lies literally at my feet.
We are all given a choice each day. We can react negatively to the demands made on us...and suffer (as I do) from poor health (I live daily with debilitating pain), and exhaustion (it seems as if I never get enough sleep), and anger and resentment (when do we learn to let all that go?). Or...we can choose to live abundantly, to transform the negative into something meaningful. Attitude is everything. If I do not endow my life and my work with meaning, no one will ever be able to do it for me. If I don't recognize the value of what I am doing here at home..in this living room or kitchen...certainly no one else can. And if I can't see the sacred meaning in a clean home and unburdened heart..then truly I have learned nothing from my travel within.
And so, to lift my spirits and celebrate my choice, I will turn up the radio and sing while I clean. I will brew another cup of coffee. I will throw open the windows to catch a great Spring breeze. And I will remind myself that at the end of the day...my family will return to this lovely and inviting home and we can all enjoy another day in paradise together.
And then...maybe...I will be brave enough to leave the house and explore the big world around me. Maybe.

1 comment:

  1. My Sweet Cousin, I do believe you have ready my mind with this post. I have had these very same thoughts the last few days. Blessings on you dear one, and when you are done, there is a paradise here in Wisconsin that could use your magic touch! I love you Dear One!!

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