The gory truth...

My last post was acceptable. It was even a little educational. But it wasn't accurate. I DO need to clean my house..and I WILL. Eventually. But I want the people who live here with me to take an active role in that..not just appreciate it when they get home. That's bullshit. Now, I'm not saying that I blame them (entirely) for the condition of the house...I accept what responsibility falls on my shoulders. I am a stay at home mom and wannabe housewife after all. Read mom and wife...not slave maid labor. But really...there is no reason that the house should look the way it does. Not that the house is really that bad...but my OCD riddled brain produces images of slovenly pigsty.
Oh who am I kidding? It is totally their faults. I mean...I don't even watch TV (let alone the one in the living room.) so all that crap in the living room is her. And I don't cook...so all that crap in the kitchen is him. (I do eat though, so I suppose by those rules the dishes in the kitchen could be construed as mine.) And realistically, I live in my pyjamas...so all this laundry has to be theirs. Right? And I am almost positive that we are all house trained....so I am giving the pee mess on the floor (and the fleas) to the puppy.
And I want to discuss for just a moment the comedy of errors that I have been living lately. Seriously...I have been transplanted into Murphy's Law Zone (which is a suburb of The Twilight Zone)...if it can go wrong...well...it's best at this point to just duck and cover. Let's review the following scenarios:
~My normally sweet and quiet child has been a raving lunatic of late. I assume it is some hormonal imbalance..but she cries and makes weird faces at me and won't let me hug her anymore. Her grades are all whompy and I even had to ground her last week for not following the rules. Who is this alien moocher?
~My unusually mild mannered "boyfriend" has been sullen, angry, and irritable the last few weeks. Can I blame hormones here too? While it's possible that this is a result of increased tensions between us...I find it much more comforting to blame his recent trip to Tennessee and his questionable interactions with her. I suppose that stress about his job, our finances, and the future couldn't possibly be a factor here.
~My exceptionally bubbly and spirited self has been kidnapped by exhaustion. And my old pal Kidney Stone has decided to extend her visit a little while longer...and remodel. So on top of the insomnia, paranoia, mania and a bunch of other 'ia' words...I need a vacation. Or something.
~My dishwasher is leaking, my air conditioner can't keep up, my bank account is disagreeable, and my diet isn't working. I have a hoighty toighty wedding to attend next month and nothing to wear. I have been approached about photographing a friends wedding (of which I fear I am grossly unqualified)..and 'someone' has been stealing my precious works of art from Facebook. Grumpies are invading my bubble.
~Oh..and the parking gods declared my parking spot (in front of my house...for 2 years..) a little too inconvenient. So one impound lot visit, one hundred and thirty five dollars, and one contested ticket later...my truck has been released from jail. Now if I could only get the DMV people to play nice about my license.
I think maybe instead of cleaning I will just relocate to a different Zone. Is there a Peace and Quiet? A Calm and Collected? Maybe an Amaretto All Day? I gotta go...I need to Google some shit.