The happy train...

So it occurs to me today that I have been waiting...just sitting here, waiting. Waiting for what, you ask? I am waiting for the happy train....you know...the magical train (think Hogwarts Express for adults!) that will whisk me away to a far off land filled with puffy clouds and sunshine and fairies. Where kings and princes woo me, where I am fed bountiful feasts, where there is music and dancing and celebration. (maybe I have been watching too much Tudors...). I am waiting for a morning where lost shoes mysteriously re-appear, an afternoon where the house has wished itself clean and dinner has cooked itself, and an evening where everyone is calm and relaxed and tucked into their own beds peacefully and quietly. I am waiting for that one way ticket to appear...do you think it got lost in the mail?
And it is always something....I will be happy when I don't have to work. Done. I will be happy when this deployment is over. Done. I will be happy when school starts again. Done. I will be happy when...when...when. I'm not happy. So I keep waiting on the train....the lost train for which I still have no ticket.
And then it hits me....hard....wait a minute. I can BE happy.....if I want to be. I can wait forever for the train (which, by the way, I have decided isn't coming..shocking I know.)...or I can create my own happy. It might not be conventional happy. It might not be convenient happy. Hell, it might not even be REAL happy. But, it can be MY happy.
I can sleep in if I want to. I can eat cookies and cake for breakfast. I can watch smutty miniseries on TV in my living room in my pyjamas. I can wander aimlessly, I can talk to myself, I can color outside the lines. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. Because I CAN. So there....
So all this time that I have been waiting, I have been wasting all these really good opportunities to tell life to cram it...reality sucks. My version is way better...more creative, more fun...more everything. I choose to find happiness...to hunt it down and haul it home and make it my slave. I choose to make happiness work for me...I'm tired of waiting for it to make time for me. I demand more than my fair share!!!
But train...if you are on your way here.....could you pick me up a grande mocha latte for the trip? Smoochies!