1. No drunk blogging. This should be pretty self explanatory...but just in case you need an example: if you can't speak in clear and concise words due to the amount of alcohol you have just ingested...then you should forgo trying to form blog sentences. I mean really.....and we all know that usually anything that you say when drunk is retarded anyway.
2. No revenge blogging. This isn't a battleground people. Sure...it's OK to occasionally use your own blog to air concerns or frustrations...but just because someone else says something mean on their blog is not an invitation to fight back on yours. Your readers will thank you for taking the higher ground. Besides...."they started it" doesn't work in blogland. Take your mother's advice here..."if you don't have anything nice to say, shut the fuck up." (I paraphrased for your convenience).
3. No boring blogging. Blogging just to blog is a waste of your time and your readers time. If you can't think of anything to say...then obviously nothing important and exciting is happening in your life and you are probably a loser. Plenty of non-eventful shit happens to me....I just don't share it with everyone. Because no one cares. Seriously, if you find yourself falling asleep while blogging....chances are your readers have already hung themselves from the ceiling fan.
4. No angry blogging. People are stupid. They are going to piss you off. This is fact. And yes...your blog is the perfect place to let loose your diatribe on why she's a bitch and why he's an idiot. I get it...your readers get it too. But if you are so angry that homicide seems a viable option....step away from the keyboard. The only thing that will happen is that you will tirade on for paragraphs and paragraphs....and the person that pissed you off probably isn't reading anyway. Because she is too busy fucking your husband. Here's the truth...angry blogging solves no problems. You will still be angry when you are done...and all 5 of your readers will have stopped reading. (And moved on to my blog...which is funnier and more insightful and well just better all around. So there.)
(Related but random fact) Angry blogging may lead to drunk blogging. And possibly revenge blogging. See? Vicious cycle. Just say no.
On that note.....
You're welcome.
Goodnight.
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