Priorities...

I have only one conscious priority: making it through the day. Seriously. This is a direct result of having been pulled and torn in a thousand different directions in any one twenty-four hour period for years. Acknowledging, recognizing, and reordering my priorities...and making them give purpose to my days...is a deeply personal task that I must do if I am going to learn to live a happier, more fulfilled, authentic life. Things have got to change.
By it's very definition a priority is anything that is important. In redefining mine I realize what matters right now. Today I would tell you that providing for the future by starting a systematic plan of saving is a priority. Increasing my health (not to mention making myself smoking hot) by dieting and exercising is a priority. Achieving financial peace is a priority. Nurturing my family and sustaining a loving, happy, healthy relationship....both priorities. Not being a bitch...priority. Not killing anyone...yep. Priority.
Of course, all that could change tomorrow. Priorities aren't written in granite. They have to be flexible and change when I change. Probably the reason I procrastinate so much about even setting priorities is because it takes peace of mind and clarity to recognize and reorder meaningful, personal, achievable priorities. And clearly I have neither peace of mind or clarity. But the more my life...and my attention span...is segmented by the child, the home, him, her, and my need for personal creative expression, the more I need to identify what is truly important to me. I have been under the assumption that I could continue to get along by "winging it" indefinitely. I can't. I need an antidote for the hurried, harried, chaotic, unruly life that threatens to tear me apart. I will keep you posted.

...Philippians 2:14-16 Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe.

Tonight I pray for reordered and re-evaluated priorities. I pray for the strength to live without complaining or arguing. I pray for peace and clarity. I pray that I may make it through my days. I pray for those near and far. I pray for our hearts and souls. And I pray for courage.
Still no room on the prayer list for her. I realized that my praying for her has not diminished the ugly in her heart, it has not increased my patience for her, and it has not allowed healing to occur. Seems that if a person is unwilling to change, no amount of prayer will get through. Just my humble observations.
Goodnight and God bless.