Fevered thinking...

While I am still feeling under the weather, I want to share just a few thoughts with you, my lovely and adoring readers. Since the beginning of the year you have been following me on my path to inner peace, increased knowledge, and living an authentic life. You have seen my successes and failures, my triumphs and defeats, my feasts and famines. You have seen me through the shining light and the dark passages. You have followed as I accepted...and stayed when I denied. I thank you for that.
I recognize the demons I am fighting...jealousy, anger, distrust, heartbreak. I not only recognize them for what they are...but I recognize the cause. And I accept the responsibility for what is mine. I may carry these demons in my heart indefinitely...but I am learning how to control them and the chaos they bring. But don't let all my fancy writing and my poise and restraint fool you. I started this blog because I am a bitch...little did I know then that I would actually become something else entirely. A wiser, happier woman.
That is my way of apologizing and thanking you all for making this journey with me. Bumps and all. I hope to keep trudging along, with you, to the far corners of my soul....
And a thought that keeps occurring within my brain (sick gives alot of time to think of such nonsense)..perhaps you've started your own process of gratitude and enlightenment? Maybe you are finally finding the amazing in the ordinary, realizing that all you have is all you need, welcoming creative choices, and savoring life's small moments.
Then again...maybe you haven't. If you wonder why I suspect this, it's because I am right there with you. I know. I know how days, weeks, months, even years can escape your grasp. I know what it's like to put everyone else's needs before your own..so that you don't have a moments peace to yourself. I know how easy it is to find heartfelt excuses for why you can't begin something new..even if you desperately want to. I know how the word "tomorrow" slips out easily and unconsciously. Tomorrow you will begin. Tomorrow. All this I know.
But what I also know is that thinking about taking a journey is not the same thing as being on one. I promise that each day from now on, I am going to use the daily grind of my real life as a cause for celebration. That's right, celebration. This isn't the fever talking....I have learned alot of things lately. Most importantly I have learned that the details of my days make a difference in my life. That no experience is ever just for show, that everything can be a starting point to inspiration if we are willing to be open to it. I have learned that change is happening today...not tomorrow.
Take another look at your life. Give thanks. Accept your circumstances. Give thanks. Count your blessings. Give thanks. Show up each day ready to learn and choose. Have faith in yourself. "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." (Andre Gide) Set the sails. Pull anchor. Cast away. Feel the wind at your back. Keep your eyes on the horizon. Or stay on shore. Your choice.
I am sailing and discovering.

...Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Tonight I pray for smooth sailing. I pray for creativity, beauty, and knowledge. I pray for those of you beginning your own journeys...and for those of you continuing on with me. I pray for safety, security, and strength. I pray for those I love...and those who need guidance.
Goodnight and God bless.