What a wonderful, beautiful day! The sun came out, it was warmish, and I spent..literally...the entire day photographing the world around me. Seems after my blog last night talking about following dreams and all that...I was feeling a tad, well...hypocritical. Here I was...blubbering on about soaring and being creative and blah blah blah...when I was so afraid to leave my own home that I had forgotten to find my joy. So I did...and I was amazed at all that was waiting for me to discover and collect and document. So...if you haven't already, head over to the Facebook photography page (Eos Photography) and check out the newbies. What grand adventure awaits me next?
In all my walking and sightseeing today I had time to reflect on something that has been troubling to my heart lately. I have been spending so much time promoting a "new" me...happier, calmer, more at peace...and in all my travels inward and all my quests for more knowledge...I have neglected those around me. I have been learning about myself, but not about the people I love, those closest to me, those that share not only my home..but my life. Do I not also need to discover what lies in their hearts?
Each of us comes into life with an inborn hunger to be known, loved and accepted. We want people to know our name, to recognize us when they see us, and to value who we are. The difficulty lies in the pleasure of intimately knowing someone. Someone we know this well can either love us at depths we never imagined or can wound us in ways we may never fully recover from. It's, unfortunately, a two way street. When I truly care about something, I enjoy discovering as much as I can. I watch food network to learn the newest and best skills and recipes. I read decorating magazines in order to fill my house with warmth. I take classes to learn how to push myself creatively with my photography. But if love stepped in today and asked me..."what do you know about him?"...I would stumble, I would stammer, I would ultimately fail.
Some of the problems I have in relating to him are simply because I do not yet understand him. All of the elements that make him who he is, how he thinks, what he needs...are based in a set of guiding principles. We all have our own. I have been trying to decipher mine...I need to start working on his. So I vow to do the following:
~Ask questions. I should take the initiative to begin conversations. In order to get him to open up, he needs to know that my desire for understanding is real and genuine.
~Listen. The goal of understanding is to hear him..not to tell him what I think.
~Ask God for discernment. Things like gender differences, family backgrounds, and varied life experiences can cloud my ability to understand his heart and motivations. But God is a giver of wisdom.
I am entering this new area of study with expectation and enthusiasm. For truly knowing, understanding, and loving well should be my life's work. The rest is just details.
...Proverbs 3:13 How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.
Tonight's prayer list is small...I pray for understanding. I pray for another day of fulfilling joy. I pray for hope and wonder. I pray for the hearts of others. I pray for them. And I pray for her.
"The eyes of my eyes are opened." e.e. cummings
Goodnight and God bless.
Friday, January 21, 2011
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