'If we are to live happy, creative, fulfilled lives, it is crucial to distinguish between our wants and our needs. Unfortunately, many women blur the distinction and then wonder why they feel so diminished. Make peace with the knowledge that you can't have everything you want. Why? Because it's more important for us to get everything we need. Be courageous. Ask yourself: what is it I truly need to make me happy? The deeply personal answers to this vital question will be different for each of us. Trust the loving wisdom of your heart.'
It is interesting to me that I never considered that these two things were different. All this time I have been believing that one or the other was enough. I never paused to suppose that it was never enough to simply have the things you need. If you aren't supplementing what you need..air, water, breath, food...with what you want...peace, love, touch...then there is always a void, an emptiness that you search and crave.
Don't get me wrong. I have alot...a comfortable home, a loving family, food on our table. I have essentials..water, heat, electricity. I have comforts...telephone, television, internet. I assume these are needs.
Am I wrong? Aren't wants more frivolous? Cute shoes, a nice car, an expensive camera? Or are wants as basic as needs...honesty, acceptance, happiness, strength? What about kissing, and sleep, and health? What category do those things fall under? And why can't wants make us happy? Is it because the more you want..the more you need? Even the questions are confusing. Oscar Wilde said "In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it all."
Which leads me to another topic...' Why do people become irritable? There are at least two key reasons that contribute to it: stress. Stress weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your health, and invites you to be cranky. It can be brought on by relational causes: arguing, division, and bitterness. There are excessive causes: overworking, overplaying, and overspending. And there are deficiencies: not getting enough rest, nutrition, or exercise. Oftentimes we inflict these daggers on ourselves, and this sets us up to be irritable. selfishness. Being easily angered is an indicator that a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity is present where love is supposed to rule. And selfishness wears other masks; lust, bitterness, greed and pride. These motivations can never be satisfied. But when love enters your heart, it calms you down and inspires you to quit focusing on yourself. It loosens your grasp and helps you let go of unnecessary things. Love will lead you to forgive instead of holding a grudge. To be grateful instead of greedy.'
So see....all we really need is love. The Beatles were right.
....Matthew 16:26 What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?
Tonight I am praying that I recognize the needs that I have and appreciate the wants I am given. I am praying for continued clarity, forgiveness, and acceptance. I am praying for love. I am praying for safety and mercy for those I hold dear. And I am praying for her.
Goodnight and God bless.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
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Wow this one has made me think a lot. I read it and I noticed there were a lot of unanswered questions I am not sure If you have figured out for YOURSELF what wants and needs are. That’s ok because I think that the wants and needs for everybody are different. But I will give you my take on the subject.
ReplyDeleteEveryone tries to break down their needs down to the smallest common denominator. So let’s do that.. All living creatures on this planet need 3 basic things FOOD, WATER, AND SHELTER. That is what anything needs to survive. A seed can grow anywhere. We have all seen a plant in the crack of the road. Because it has received those three things. It will never grow and flourish into a giant oak but it will live for a time. Until such needs are used up and then it will die.
Such is the same in our lives. We only need Food to eat, water to sustain us. And shelter from the cold, the rain, or the heat. We can survive in a cardboard box living off handouts or what we can steal. But to live? To flourish we need more. A house, a job to sustain that house. Transportation to get the job.
So needs and wants are fluid. They change as we live. We have children their needs and in turn our needs drastically change, the minimums for us to survive are not enough anymore.
So can you argue that now basic needs have changed again? Or is it fluid and changes with circumstances? We all live solitary lives of individuals but as we grow and flourish we maintain our lives through companionship and love. To sustain those relationships either friends or family or lovers basic human needs have to be met. I can have a friend. We all have many friends. But for friendships to flourish there need to be additions to just merely being an acquaintance.
What I am trying to illustrate is that we all know what the minimums are in life. To merely survive we can muddle through our lives only sustaining the minimal growth based on only the absolute minimal needs to survive. Or we can take control and flourish and LIVE. I believe that God wants more in our lives than to simply survive. “Be Fruitful and multiply” I believe there is more to that than simply the basic species need to survive, but was meant as “I have given you what you need to survive. Now go out and grow on your own. Build your lives.” Free will.. it’s a bitch.. You can either take control and sustain and grow and flourish. Or you can try to limit yourself to the basic needs and simply survive. I truly believe we are wired to grow we are meant do more than just survive. A tree cannot uproot itself and go to the water. If you need something go get it. We are meant to decide for ourselves what the needs are to live the lives we choose for ourselves. We can choose to be content. We can choose to be miserable, or we can choose to be happy. Decide for yourself what you need and then go get it. I want a better life. I need this to get it. Maybe not to survive But who wants to merely survive?