20 Facts About Me..

I could be mistaken, but isn't that basically the same thing as a fucking INTRODUCTION? No?...I guess maybe they are asking me to go a little more in depth about shit you might not know about me....who knows?.
I totally had to get the family involved in this one....because, well, I couldn't come up with twenty factoids about my sad pathetic self. I mean...I'm short. Given. I'm cute. Given. I have brown hair. Boring. I wear glasses because I'm 100 kinds of blind. Whatever. I'm overflowing with awesomesauce. FACT. But, I am pretty sure these are not the facts you are looking for. Move along.
SO....we came up with a list. It's fairly accurate. They wanted to add some shit that wasn't very nice, but since I make all the rules here (another fact about me)...that ain't happening. You know the drill.

20 Facts About Me:

1. Once a year, I fancy myself a Princess. Complete with bonafide tiara. I mean, every OTHER day of the year I'm the Queen...so it's really just a moot point anyway. But bling is bling. And tradition is tradition.
2. I'm a raging insomniac, but my bed is my favorite place to be. Except of course, the beach.
3. My husband says I'm a closet nerd, I'm just not ready to come out yet.
4. (The above could be because..) I find pointy ears a total turn on...see (new) Spock and Legolas.
5. I prefer wine to water. Unless I'm swimming..in which case, water is fine thank you.
6. I seldom watch TV, except for Snapped marathons.
7. I love road trips, but hate to drive. Mostly because I need to have my bare feet up on the dash (something that annoys my husband) and my camera on the ready. That's the way I roll.
8. I guess I'm a Photographer. Who knew?
9. I don't fly. That's a stupid way to say that...of course I don't fly, I'm not a fucking bird. I mean, I don't like to get in an airplane and travel places by air. Planes crash. Fiery infernos of death. But, I might consider Valium for a trip to Paris.
10. I stick my tongue out when I am deep in thought. My family makes fun of me incessantly about this. Since I write, a lot, evidently I sit in a perpetual state of tongue stuck out drooling on myself. I am mildly disturbed at this imagery.
11. I am NOT crafty and I have a black thumb. Plants and projects come to my house to die.
12. Food on my plate is not allowed to touch. Unless it's like a casserole or something intended to be mixed together. In fact, if I could eat with those little partitioned off plates like little kids have...I would be so fucking happy all the time. I'm going to buy myself some of those.
13. I've never left North America. (See Number 9)...but I have some stuff on my Bucket List that I better get done before I die. So, I guess I better stock up on that Valium prescription.
14. I don't eat anything unnaturally blue. No blue coloring. It's weird. And I don't like it. You can laugh...but you can't judge. Cause you got weird quirky shit, too. Don't lie.
15. I have a burning dislike for Math and Science. I mean I can appreciate their contributions to the world..and that they probably serve some greater purpose...but I am pretty sure I have never used Algebra once in my adult human life. Sticking with English Literature. I'm good at it.
16. I hate to pump my own gas. It will probably get me in trouble some day. Luckily my husband keeps the tank relatively full for me....and we have a full service station in town. Oh...and I don't drive.
17. I love and adore shoes...but totally prefer to be barefoot. It's my gypsy soul. Would probably save my husband a ton more money if I'd stop buying shoes that I don't wear...but, hey..girls gotta have stuff.
18. Penguins are my favorite. They should be your favorite too.
19. My favorite color is orange. And pink. But not red.
20. I am writing a book. Sometimes. When I feel like it.

There. Twenty more completely random and obscure and annoying things that you THOUGHT you wanted to know about me but really didn't. I hope you enjoyed that...because it wasn't as easy as you think it was. Whatever. I'm just here to make everyone fucking happy!
Two days in....have I pissed anyone off yet? NO? Good! Maybe there's hope for me yet!

See ya on the flip flop side...(you'll get this...it's tomorrow.)!!

XOX!